Keeley Shoup
Cuddle Therapy • Consent & Boundaries Educator
Frequently Asked Questions
1.) What is Cuddle Therapy?
A cuddle therapist is someone who provides access to platonic touch through boundaries and consent education for the purposes of validating your humanity and fostering connection.
I say “provide access” to touch because there are many times when we don’t ever touch, but the access is what is important.
I say “platonic” touch because we are not working in the realm of sexual intimacy.
I include boundaries and consent education because even if it’s not formal, the structure has to be present in the session, otherwise touch is categorically unsafe.
I say validate your humanity and foster connection because the benefits of this work are too many and too individualized to name.
2.) How do Cuddle Therapists stay safe?
My biggest tool for staying safe is thorough screening calls and in-depth consultations before a session. You get to know a lot about someone with the right questions and by setting boundaries early.
There is also a great tool called a “text buddy”. You can let the text buddy know where you are and how long your session is. Then your buddy can know when to expect a text at the end of your session.
The most important thing to remember about any safety measure you take is that they are there to make you feel safe. If you need more safety measures, absolutely ask for them, no matter what anyone else in the industry is doing.
3.) What is touch starvation?
Touch starvation/touch deprivation happens when someone has had a prolonged period of isolation with no skin to skin contact or other touch. People experiencing touch deprivation often have deregulated nervous systems, cannot make grounded decisions, and have higher rates of anxiety and depression.
4.) Do people cry during cuddle sessions?
Crying during a cuddle session is both normal and common. Our bodies store emotions, which means we can have a lot of pent up stress. This stress can be released in the form of tears when being held and oxytocin is being produced. I hold space for all emotions in my sessions, as they are all normal and okay to experience.
5.) How do I become a professional cuddle therapist?
If you are looking to become a cuddle therapist, I have a few tips for you. You need to have some kind of training. There are a few companies that you can get various trainings from, and I suggest doing all the trainings you can find.
6.) Where do cuddle sessions take place?
I hold cuddle sessions in my very cozy cuddle space. I can also travel to a location provided by the client if there is an accessibility concern or on occasion when traveling. My preference is to cuddle on a big comfy couch. A bed can be used for a cuddle session, but it’s more rare and there are additional boundary protocols we observe in that event.
7.) What should I wear to a cuddle session?
When going to a cuddle session, it is best (per the Cuddlist code of conduct) to wear, at minimum, a t-shirt and some outer wear shorts. You can always add more, such as sweats or a hoodie. The main goal is to be as comfortable as possible so you can relax and fully appreciate the experience.
8.) Do people ever get erections while cuddling?
Yes, people can get erections while cuddling. It’s not a big deal at all, as it is a normal bodily process. There is no shame in getting an erection. What is more important is how it’s dealt with, and how we act.We aren’t going to pursue or encourage arousal. If/when arousal happens we can adjust our cuddle position if that’s more comfortable. We can take some deep breaths together and find stillness. We can talk about it or not, depending on your comfort level. The only thing we HAVE to do is be honest about how we are feeling and be responsible for finding comfort if there is ever discomfort or distress.
9.) How do I book a session?
You can send an email here through my website (keeley@cuddlist.com) or DM me via any of my social media platforms. Please include your name with a brief intro and either what service you are interested in or what question you have.
10.) Can you cuddle people under the age of 18?
I don‘t see any clients under the age of 18 because of the way consent is defined in the US. If you are under 18 and having trouble finding a cuddle therapist that specializes in younger clients, you can still reach out and I can assist you in finding the cuddle therapist for you.
11.) Do you need to be trained to be a cuddle therapist?
It’s not legally required, but generally speaking… absolutely! Since this is an unregulated industry it’s important that clients be discerning about who they choose to be their practitioner. Conversely, if you are thinking about becoming a cuddle therapist I HIGHLY recommend pursuing training so that you are more readily prepared for the unique challenges of this work. Cuddlist is an incredible training platform with both basic training and certification. You can see all the training and certifications I’ve taken to improve my skill in this work on my about page under the EDUCATION section.
12.) Is it possible to have a cuddle session that goes through the night?
Overnight sessions are possible but fairly rare. I only offer overnight sessions to aid or assist in sleep. Cuddling and companionship can help people who have trouble sleeping or who struggle with insomnia. I want to be clear that I can not diagnose or medically treat insomnia. What I can do is talk to my client and see in what ways, if any, I can assist them.